A whole new world

We always talk about lack of education fueling rape culture. But lately with the disappointing morning news conversations, you realize it's even the privileged committing this heinous crime. If illiteracy was the cause of this sick mentality, I would be comforted that we have nailed down the cause and now it's just putting work into fixing it. With even the educated acting like animals, we have a much much bigger problem. As parents we aspire for stellar education for our kids and dream that one day they will graduate from the ivy leagues. But are my children's peers going to be committing gun violence and rape? Let's not talk about terrorism, if we can't fix the violence in our own homes.

Our parents generation probably didn't have to worry about "rape culture" and I say that with some confidence as when I was growing up the "uncomfortable" conversations with my parents were about making smart choices, choosing the right company, making informed decisions about the adventures and partners we choose.But at no point where we told that "look someone you go to school with may gun you down or rape you, so sleep with your eyes open." And now sadly, I will have to tell my son just that. It saddens me that our great generation has such amazing opportunities to offer but it also has been breeding sick, lonely minds with peer pressure and social media pressure at its highest ever, that makes one do ridiculous things to be accepted, to be cool. 

This also makes me think about the current election season. If half of America is happily choosing a leader who rates women on a scale of 1 to 10, blatantly talked about their asses and body shames them along with supporting macro issues like unequal pay, insisting on pro- life just tells the story women are not equal to men, women can be manipulated and that "you" can decide for a woman when you are not one yourself. This in my opinion is catalyzing rape culture where the value of a woman is reduced to an object, you CAN take advantage of her vulnerabilities. 

So, yes it is time we make the right decision and choose the right leaders but it is also time for us to reflect and address these issues with our children so they unequivocally know the right from wrong. It is not ok to objectify women, it is not ok to blame the rape victim and it is not ok for    Schools and large institutions to sit back and be reactive rather than proactive about these pertinent issues. Yes, we will spend our life savings sending our children to great universities, so they become rounded individuals and we will invest time, emotion and great effort to raise them with a huge moral and emotional quotient and you - the politicians, leaders, institutions, you do the same, will you ? We need the same investment from you.

All hands on deck, the world needs its heart back. 

It is just the beginning...

Well settled into motherhood, and you are still exhausted ? I have had this little one around me for 20 whole months now, I shouldve got a hang of this by now ? As he is growing older, smarter and more aware comes another big mighty mountain - Tantrums! Tantrums are those episodes you hear about from other people thinking they will never really happen to you. It is those horror moments when you want to hide away and not really face the reality that is happening right now. Is that my angel, super friendly boy on the playground floor screaming "no no no" because he doesnt want to wear his shoes and is upset because the ground is dirty, oh no - now his feet are dirty, but no shoes please, simply because they will make everything OK and we cant really let that happen can we!

In anticipation of toddler tantrums, amongst the million things you prepare for at bootcamp motherhood (no I'm kidding, there is no such camp) I got my self a few books on how to handle a hormonal 2 year old. Ofcourse great advice - if you have to give it and pretend to be a "know it all" in your mom's group; but not very on point when you have a "situation" at hand. I guess the only thing that has been helping so far is distraction to another thing, toy or person, which is losing its charm since we are growing up and becoming more aware and are all caught up on these old school tricks.

What makes it completely worse is a sick toddler who is really pushing your buttons to get you to cave in so he can watch his youtube videos or scribble on the walls or throw water on the floor. That in my opinion is the stickiest situation where the physical exhaustion supersedes the willingness to accept any peace offering. Its those days that I sit and really wonder where he caught the bug from, so I have someone to blame for all this misery.

And then next morning, he wakes up with a big smile pretending that those weird awkward moments/days did not happen. Those days where he has eaten, napped on time, pooped like a boss,
where everything is happy, playful and  loving and you absolutely start loving your life again. The stars have finally aligned :)

You start thinking about the great miracle of life and about how kind god has been to give you this precious being who says " i love you mumma" and hugs you every morning. Once again you are back to posting happy pictures of your lovely experiences and million emotions and just simply acing motherhood.

Tantrums are annoying. Tantrums push your buttons and make you want to slam your head into a wall. They make you realize how hormonal you probably were when you were pregnant. But on the flipside they bring in oodles and oodles of patience in you, teach you to smile through cries of distress and anger and make you the wonderful mom you are destined to be,

Dear moms - every mother has to deal with toddler tantrums openly or behind close doors, so no mother could really be judging when your toddler throws a fit at a restaurant, store, playground or the airport. And for those who are judging you, remember that they probably do not have the million, amazing, aww-worthy moments you also have with your child. These moments that are worth so much more than this ability to judge!

Enjoy toddler tantrums, enjoy the hugs after, enjoy motherhood! Your day couldve been worse, but it is not :)

My love, My joy - My baby boy!

I was always in doubt of how I would take on the role of a Mother. Will I be haphazard, will I be organized, will I be patient, will I be a planner or will I take it one day at a time. This past year I was all of this and more!  The planner in me wanted everything by book, the sleep –eat schedule, the milestones, the growth spurts.  While my haphazard self took it one day at a time and “wrote-off” bad days with a “Will deal with a new day tomorrow, for now lets just get some sleep! “ The exhausted me didn’t want to care about how my hair looked or if I had stains on my shirt while the fashion conscious me managed to look like a “put together mom” every once in a while. Its strange how bipolar you can get when you are a mom. You don’t have a definition and a personality anymore. You define yourself everyday in a new way. I am sure most moms who read this will nod their heads and say “ sounds about right!”  while the to-be moms will take a deep breath and go – OK that does not sound like a lot of fun.

But it is! It is fun, it is a challenge. Your baby turning one is the tip of the iceberg where everyone is excited to see the “dude” he is growing up to be.  But you see the real deal, the long, never ending nights, the long, never ending days, the crying, the laughter, the food struggles, the bath struggles, the stroller and car seat struggles, THE STRUGGLES!

And still I cannot tell you enough about how much fun it is. That is the irony of this whole thing called parenting. It is as fun as it is difficult and I have begin to love every waking and (sleeping) moment of being a mother.

My boy turns 1 tomorrow and I cant wait for the day he hugs me and says, "even though you are crazy in some ways, I love you ma!" And all I want to do now and will do then too, is wipe my tears and say you are my love, my joy – my baby boy ! J

Note to Self

Being a mother is rewarding. It gives a kick to your ego knowing that whole new life depends on you during their every waking and sleeping moment. It is this reflex that they are born with "Mommy knows" where they are comforted by your very presence. It also gives you a kick in your behind so you get your ducks in a row, get yourself organized, look after yourself - Your baby needs you! 

Once the baby arrives the world is gushing around your child, you are gushing around your child. There have been times in the brutal winters where I bundle up my baby boo and forget to carry my own coat! And no this is not "aww" worthy, it shows how much you forget about yourself. A baby is an extension of his mother, a reason for her happiness and the muscle behind her smiles. But a baby is only all that and more if you are composed and healthy. 

I believe that compromises and sacrifices are the consequence of every new relationship. But being who you are is the reason the relationship existed in the first place, and it applies to you and your baby. Your relationship with your little one starts the day he is conceived and it is carried on till eternity. All he needs to know is that you will be there for him in times good and bad and stick with him through thick and thin. How you execute that promise is up to you. Make decisions that give you the power the continue to believe in yourself. Ask for help if you need to and do not compromise on the quality of your life. A happy mom raises the most stable and balanced kids. A happy mom helps makes memories her child will treasure forever. 

Celebrate motherhood by being yourself every day and watch the magic of evolution unfold in front of your eyes!

Stairway to Heaven

Symbolizing positivity, you were my inspiration, my reason to smile, my need to question

You taught me to believe in myself, challenge my belief and then to logically reason.

I have always looked at you as my calm, my composure, my being, my truth

You are special to me, my soul sister, my other half; my personality is a tribute to you!

You live here with me in my heartbeat, in my smile, in my tears and in everything I say or do

All my life, as far as I remember I have always wanted to be like you.

You embodied everything larger than life, that life was too mundane for you                                      

Now you are a shining star up in heaven, watching over us –you always wanted the best view!

I can’t thank god enough for bringing you into my life, our special moments, our little secrets, our silly laughs, and our constant chatter

I will continue to be the person I am because I remind me of you!

Happy Birthday.. to the Jack in my Box :)

Happy Birthday…….

To the crazy in my talk, to the silly in my walk,

To the dumb in my joke, to the promise in my hope,

To the spring in my step, to the funny at my best,

To the tears in my cry, to the earnest in my try,

To the style in my look, to plans in my book,

To the chuckle in my laughter, to my happily ever after!

Take a step back.. Are you jaded?

A colleague quoted Jack Welch at work today - "There is no such thing as work-life balance, it is a work-life choice. You make them and they have consequences!" Sounds heavy, makes you think and oddly enough it is extremely true. Most of us are prisoners of our own ideals and dreams sealed by the pressure that we subject ourselves to. Corporate lifestyles across the world have been notorious for being unfriendly to women in quest of the corner office. The phrases "Breaking through the glass ceiling", "Harnessing the girl power" have been used interchangeably, sometimes even to describe a fancy girl clique.
Graduating with a Masters, working at well-known Management Consulting firms, I have always had big dreams for myself. I have been through the insecurities of the first job, the new job, the new boss, the new projects and have succumbed to the desire to constantly prove myself. And while I was working round the clock to produce quality deliverables over countless iterations, I realized that the "corner office" that I thought I was chasing, was not really my end goal!
I would be lying if I said I don't want a fancy title or a lump sum bonus but I also am the kind of person who you can woo with a new business card, a congratulatory email for a job well done and maybe even a box of chocolates just because you feel like it. Fortunately or unfortunately (the jury is not out on that!), I am easy to please. If little things make you happy and you get over your insecurities sooner than later, you can easily slow down and align your professional life to best suit your personal needs.
My education and experiences have taught me to not compromise on the quality you deliver, it has taught me to be known for your work ethic and your willingness to step outside your comfort zone. Most importantly it has taught me to stop chasing a moving target, a target that is circumstantial and that cannot be anchored because it has external dependencies. Dependencies in the form of life events, health events, social events that you want to be a part of. Well then , I have made my choice! I have taken a step back from my search for that corner office and I suddenly feel productive, happy and blessed.