My love, My joy - My baby boy!

I was always in doubt of how I would take on the role of a Mother. Will I be haphazard, will I be organized, will I be patient, will I be a planner or will I take it one day at a time. This past year I was all of this and more!  The planner in me wanted everything by book, the sleep –eat schedule, the milestones, the growth spurts.  While my haphazard self took it one day at a time and “wrote-off” bad days with a “Will deal with a new day tomorrow, for now lets just get some sleep! “ The exhausted me didn’t want to care about how my hair looked or if I had stains on my shirt while the fashion conscious me managed to look like a “put together mom” every once in a while. Its strange how bipolar you can get when you are a mom. You don’t have a definition and a personality anymore. You define yourself everyday in a new way. I am sure most moms who read this will nod their heads and say “ sounds about right!”  while the to-be moms will take a deep breath and go – OK that does not sound like a lot of fun.

But it is! It is fun, it is a challenge. Your baby turning one is the tip of the iceberg where everyone is excited to see the “dude” he is growing up to be.  But you see the real deal, the long, never ending nights, the long, never ending days, the crying, the laughter, the food struggles, the bath struggles, the stroller and car seat struggles, THE STRUGGLES!

And still I cannot tell you enough about how much fun it is. That is the irony of this whole thing called parenting. It is as fun as it is difficult and I have begin to love every waking and (sleeping) moment of being a mother.

My boy turns 1 tomorrow and I cant wait for the day he hugs me and says, "even though you are crazy in some ways, I love you ma!" And all I want to do now and will do then too, is wipe my tears and say you are my love, my joy – my baby boy ! J